Charity

Once, I was chatting with my friend. We were chatting for long on the road. Just then, one beggar came along. Said, she was really hungry, and really poor and all. I told her this one thing, "Sorry, I don't do charity". She tried begging once more, but then she understood, that I was not going give any money. So, she left. For once, I felt that I might have had a really bad impression on my friend. "I don't do charity", that's pretty strong statement. For a bachelor like me, earning well enough to buy a gadget per month, it was not economical issue for me, specially when I didn't have any dependents. Even, I thought a bit odd about it.

There was another case. I was going home from Secunderabad station to Aurangabad for Diwali. As was just entering the station when 2 couples came along, each having a kid with them. They looked really scared in a way. They were asking, if anyone knew Hindi, as in Hyderabad, it was quite hard to find. I said, how can I help them. They said they came from Maharashtra, and lost all their stuff while visiting Tirupati. I sensed begging over their, and was ready to turn them down. Still, even I don't like to give money to strangers, I always like to help them. So, I asked them, that would they like to know any address, or how to reach any place etc. But they said, that they are going to return in some train to go back home as soon as possible and their only worry was their kids (both looked like 4-5 years old), who didn't have any food for a day or so. So, they asked me if I could lend them some money. I again tried to back out from that saying same phrase. But here, they were actually asking me for food, not money. As there were lot of fruit stalls and small shops around, I decided to give them some money for biscuits or something. And so I gave them money and left to catch my train.

While in train, I started to think, what was the difference between the 2 situations. Trust me when I say this, I do like to help anyone whenever possible. But somehow, giving money to anyone just makes me anxious and I just have a bad feeling about it. Somehow, I just feel that giving money makes things out of control. I heard and even seen many situations where beggars are millionaires (in Rs.). Also, I thing if anyone is begging for food, or any help, which will directly help him, I should give it to him/her. But when I give money, I dunno what that person is going to do with it. For all I know, from money given for food, he can go and get some alcohol, which will further ruin his life already in poverty. So, I decided this. I'll help anyone by buying things that he needs, or doing some help for him, like showing road, carrying stuff, giving drop at some place etc. Even I am ready to buy a hungry man some food. (In fact, I recently donated blood also :) ) I am not sure whether this approach is right or wrong, but I just feel nice if result of my money which also represents my efforts, should be in my control. Because, such a liquid thing like money, can result in any outcome, which I'll hate to do something which I don't want it to do.

Do pass your comments/ suggestions for this, since this questions keeps bothering me.